Reset

Photo by Me

 

Life is a funny thing. You see yourself doing all these things in your head, this image of how you want your life to be, and then you don’t do anything. I just read my last post from this blog which was dated, September 17, 2009. Over a year ago. And everything I wrote in that last post still applies to now. A year ago I was talking about making things happen. About how I’m going to get to that “place” that I’ve always desired to be, and here I am STILL thinking about making it happen.

What happened over the last year? Why hasn’t it happened?

Inaction. The exact opposite of action.

My life has been somewhat of a roller coaster over the last year, and yet I’m still in the same place. I’ve wanted to write on this blog so many times over the past year, but haven’t. I’ve wanted to do a lot of things this year that I ended up not doing. And despite the ups and downs of my last year, I feel like things have gotten stagnant. I’m still in the same place I was a year ago because something is not working. Not to say I haven’t moved forward at all, but I haven’t moved far enough. I’m stuck on this level and I can’t move forward to the next.

I can see only one solution. Something I used to do as a kid playing video games when I got stuck, I need to hit reset.

Of course, life isn’t a video game. There is no reset button, not in a literal sense anyway. But somehow I’ve brought myself to write this and I’m not sure if it was just tonight, or a series of conversations, encounters and experiences that have brought me back here again, one year later, telling you that I’m going to make it happen. Again.

Tonight was interesting. A combination of things that I live for; rock climbing, a movie with friends, and conversations with new people.

I live for these moments. Pushing myself in a sport that I have trouble explaining the appeal of to many people. Seeing a film in a packed theater (as opposed to on DVD at home). Sharing a meal and conversation with old friends and new friends. These aren’t the only things I love and tonight wasn’t the only time they’ve happened. In fact, I’ve had this exact combination of events happen in a day more than once in that last year. Yet, on the drive home, at 2am, all I could think was, “You should blog tonight.”

But why tonight?

I’ve gone to rock climbing gyms countless times in the last year. Was it particularly inspiring tonight?

I’ve seen several movies in theaters the last year. Was 127 hours really that good? (Side note: It is in fact an amazing movie.)

I’ve even shared a couple dinners with friends and friends of friends, that have all lead to some of the more unique progressions of conversation I’ve had the pleasure of enjoying. So why now?

My answer, who cares? I’m just glad I’m here, writing again. I have no idea why I chose this moment to write again, I’m just happy I did.

My last year has been full of ups and downs. Drama and comedy. Big talk and plenty of excuses. I’ve spent the last year coming up with blog ideas, art projects, and story ideas, only to get derailed by distractions. In last year’s blog post I made a promise, “I’m going to make things happen.” This time, I will.

Step one. Pick one of a year’s worth of unrealized ideas and make one happen. Check back Monday for the results.

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~ by nogoodhollywood on November 20, 2010.